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7/9/2006 4:23:53 PM - Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest - Brief Movie Review

I saw the new Pirates movie Friday, July 7, 2006 - the day that it opened. It did $132 million over the three day weekend and that set an all-time box-office record. It beat the previous movie's weekend take with its first day of ticket sales.

I liked the original, but this new version is actually even worse than I had expected. (Hollywood has a long history of pushing out inferior sequels to capitalize on the original's reputation - I suspected that would be the case here.)

I would rate it a 4 on a scale of 1 to 10.

All of the principals from the original show up, but this one's story is far weaker and the humor more forced (and often not very funny.)

It does adhere to what you might expect of a typical follow-up to a Hollywood blockbuster. 25 minute action sequence? Check. Comedy relief? Check. Ridiculously contrived story points? Check. (The two comedic pirates from the first movie just happen to be sailing around the ocean on their two-man lifeboat and happen upon the Black Pearl by lucky coincidence? Riiiiiight.) Mysterious oracle who gives vague hints? Check. Implausible moment of redemption? Check. Nonsensical scenes of betrayal and jealousy? Check. Action sequences that add absolutely nothing to the development of the characters or storyline? Check.

The movie is far longer than it should be, but does have a few good moments. When Captain Jack Sparrow offers an "undead monkey" to the oracle in exchange for her help, it feels like the kind of original, unforced humor in which the previous movie excelled. The special effects are mostly good, but there are some scenes with the Kraken in particular that seem strangely unfinished. Several of the scenes featuring the Kraken's thrashing tentacles are so poorly done that it's actually distracting. The lighting doesn't match and the background (containing the tentacles and some other effects) and foreground (containing the actors and the nearby ship) are very clearly disjointed.

Honestly, I would recommend that you save your money and just catch it on DVD when it comes out...it's that bad.

- TZ

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